After the Honeymoon Phase is Over, Then What??

During the initial phase of any relationship, there is the period together considered the Honeymoon Phase. As with everything in life, this period too, eventually comes to an end.
A honeymoon stage can last anywhere from a few months to two years depending on previous growing up experiences, problem solving abilities and unique personality makeup. During this period, it is relationship bliss with few bumps. Any red flags are minimized or ignored. Instead, there is a brand-new excitement over finding someone who fits most, if not all of the boxes.

Then reality sets in. Underlying personality quirks begin to surface. The expectation that one’s partner will never change, and both will harmoniously be on the same page begins to diminish. As a result, insecurities about the relationship begin to surface. A push-and-pull pattern in the relationship can develop where when conflict surfaces, the more one partner pursues, the more the other distances. This can lead to insecurities about possible reasons for the changes in the relationship. This can range from lack of interest to diminished love. The need for reassurance that can be as it was in the beginning is never satisfied.

A 2022 study explored why positive feelings in a relationship sometimes fade away after that initial intense honeymoon phase. It found that factors such as stress, boredom, and life’s demands start to impact the quality of your bond.1 As such, it’s important to work against these points of friction to nurture a fulfilling relationship.

Here are 5 ways you can keep the relationship alive well beyond the honeymoon phase

1. Embrace Differences: Recognizing that your partner is different, and not right or wrong. This is key and cannot be underestimated. This will call for a shift in your mindset about how you see your partner.

2. Share Core Values: Recognize your core values and be able discuss with each other which ones are negotiable and which ones are not. While core values like honesty and faithfulness are vital, different perspectives as to what are priorities and what are not, can make room for negotiating resolutions.

3. Effective Communication: Couples should express their thoughts and feelings without prejudging your partner. This would be easier to do if each discussed the issue at hand instead of bringing past unresolved issues into the fray.

4. Compromise and Understanding: Being willing to compromise and work together to find solutions can help resolve conflicts and avoid power struggles.

5. Shared Goals: Having common goals can act as building blocks to move couples to a more solid relationship.

By focusing on these aspects, couples can build a relationship that is not only resilient but also fulfilling and dynamic.