Throughout our lives, there are people who want us to be someone other than who we are. As a result, we can easily lose sight of our true selves. These pressures begin in early childhood, with parents and educators. Proper guidance and education during those early years are critical. Healthy guidance includes imparting independent thinking. It is only when children receive skewed messages, on a consistent basis, that they grow into adults who allow others to have power over them. As a result, far too many people have given power over to others who influence how they think, feel and behave.
When we were children, because of our dependency needs, we had little choice but to follow the lead presented to us by the authority figures in our lives. However, as adults we can take steps to develop own personal power. In spite of striving to develop and maintain one’s own personal power, there continues to be efforts from others to counteract our success in this area. Other influences can now include spouses, co-workers, bosses, family and friends. Therefore we have compiled a list of strategies to circumvent being influenced by others to be what you inherently are not.
- Be more aware of what your gut or instinct is telling you. It might not always be right but generally it is a good barometer to help you make decisions that would work for you.
- Be aware of other people’s behavior affecting how you feel. Don’t make their problem, your problem. Instead, when they push your button, let that be a wake up call for you to examine areas in which you can improve.
- Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and with whom you spend it. Learn how to say, “no” without feeling guilty.
- Learn that it is equally important to give to yourself as it is to give to others. We are programed to think that we are being selfish if we begin to think about ourselves first. However, identifying and appropriately taking care of your needs first makes you better equipped to care for other people in your community.
- Embrace your uniqueness and recognize and acknowledge to yourself the abilities that you have. Never take the gifts you have for granted. They are given to you by God to use for yourself and others in the world.
- Instead of succumbing to attempts from others, who want to influence you to be what they want you to be, focus rather on taking responsibility for the outcome of your own life. This means learning what you want in life and spending the time and energy on getting it on a daily basis. As always readers who have questions, comments or suggestions, can share them with me by writing me at firstname.lastname@example.org