Striving to be your best regardless of pressures to be otherwise.


futurepresentIt is not unusual in growing up to be pressured, persuaded, guided in certain ways or directions that are contrary to our true nature.  This could come from parents, teachers, religious leaders or others in positions of authority. Their intent may be benevolent or malevolent or both.  Regardless, with repetition, many people grow to lose sight of the essence of who they are and what  they are destined  to be.  The true mission of each of us in life is find out who we are, embrace it as worthy and  actualize it to the fullest.



  1. Take time out daily to focus on being a “good parent” to yourself.  This will reap benefits that could never be realized by attempting to get others to be as you would like,
  2. Resist allowing external factors to define your human worth, Otherwise you will end up being a prisoner to circumstances in your life, other people’s opinions or your performance results.
  3. Never loss sight of your core value regardless of external factors.  External factors, be they successes or setbacks, can be used to improve what we do  but should never be used to define who we are.
  4. Spend everyday looking for ways to affirm who you are as a person.
  5.   Avoid the tendency to compare yourself unfavorably with others or seek to feel superior to others. Whether you like it or not, we are all struggling to make sense of it all and are more alike than not.
In spite of your human frailties, there is an inner core of greatness that needs to be recognized and taped into everyday. Finding purpose and meaning in your life makes dealing with its pitfalls easier.



Any questions or suggestions can be  directed to Ray Shocki PhD, LCSW, LMFT at