How to Overcome Constant Avoidance

People say they are going to do something but constantly avoid doing it. The results is a confusion between procrastination and avoidance. Avoidance is a coping mechanism that steers people away from uncomfortable situations. Procrastination, on the other hand, is the act of delaying tasks despite knowing they need to be done. Here, we will focus on avoidance.

Avoidance is an effort to escape unpleasant thoughts, feelings, or situations. It can manifest itself in various ways. They can include not taking that last course that would mean graduation. It can manifest itself by consistently not paying rent or mortgage for no apparent reason. It can also manifest itself by consistently not applying for jobs that may be beneficial. Initially, relief would be felt by not having to face the fears of an unknown outcome. However, invariably there are consequences. In the first example graduation with a college degree never occurs. The delinquent tenant gets evicted and franticly seeks another place to live. Finally, in the last example, the one who wishes for a better job, ends up in the same position going nowhere. Avoidance may start out as a peculiar behavioral habit but ends up as being a way of life.

Avoidance prevents individuals from addressing their fears and challenges directly. It creates a cycle where the more the issues are resisted, the more they appear overwhelming. This can result in chronic stress, anxiety, and a lack of emotional growth. To deal with avoidance, it is essential to recognize its impact and seek strategies to confront and address the issue at hand. By learning how to deal with the initial discomfort can lead to healing and personal growth.

Avoidance does not denote weakness but rather the brain’s defense against what it perceives as a danger. When the amygdalae, the part of the brain that experiences emotions, detects what it perceives as a threat, it triggers a fight/fight response. This, at times can blur the lines between reason and feeling. People often react to a trigger based on one’s immediate feeling of fear rather than the delayed reason that there is nothing to be afraid of.

Thus, avoidance is a defense against a perceived threat, even if that threat is ultimately being successful in life. Anything out of the norm is resisted in order to deal with the initial experience of fear and anxiety. Therefore, with avoidance becoming a way of life, how do you affectively deal with it? Here are a few answers.

1. Begin by becoming aware of when avoidance occurs and its triggers. Even when in the throes of avoiding a perceived threat, your awareness can bring about a shift in your perception of your malady.

2. Make a firm commitment to consistently and consciously tell yourself that you will not allow avoidance to rule your life and recognize that you are entitled to true success in life.

3. Take those preverbal baby steps. This means breaking down complex problems into smaller, manageable steps. This makes them less overwhelming and less likely to trigger avoidance behaviors.

4. Consciously challenge your negative thought patterns that fuel avoidance. This involves consciously changing automatic negative thoughts to more balanced alternatives. The goal is to be more in charge of your emotions.

5. Engage in mindfulness exercises consistently. This will help in becoming more present and set the tone of how you face life and its tribulation.

6. Journaling each day can allow you to process emotions and identify patterns of avoidance. This can help you to understand your triggers and develop coping strategies.

7. Pushing through the fear and anxiety you feel. This may initially increase your fears and anxiety. However, on the back end, it will help reduce those anxious and fearful feelings and build a sense of personal power.

8. Positively reinforce your successes, no matter how small. Overcoming avoidance is a process that takes time and effort. therefore, it’s important to recognize and reward yourself for the progress you make.

9. It is important that you affirm yourself throughout your journey of self-improvement. Progress takes time and that it’s okay to move at your own pace. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to others in the same situation.

10. Seek professional help when all else fails. Speaking with a therapist can help in defining your goals and working toward achieving them.

For those who struggle with avoidance, know that you are not crazy. Rather it is your brain mistakenly putting up a defense against a perceived unknown danger. However, the journey of overcoming avoidance is not just about avoiding discomfort but about confronting it and transforming it into a source of strength and learning. It is a journey worth committing yourself to.