“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” – C. S. Lewis

An example is

 “Loved ones who give double messages such as saying they love you but punish you in one way or another if you don’t meet their expectations, are more detrimental to one’s self esteem than those who are consistently negative.  The former rationalize their toxic behavior, claiming it is for your own good. As least with the latter, you know what to expect and can prepare forms of avoidance.” –   Raymond Shocki PhD, LCSW, LMFT